PHP Quote Script with SQL Backend

Quote #
1

kim81osu: if you make good cookies, i'll have sex with you

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Rating: 3.8666666666667 (15 Votes) | Added 11/6/2001 1:51:45 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
2

"I spent the night at Ben's... and I got in his pants!"
-Karen (meaning she put on his pants)

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:51:58 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
3

KrinkovPhd: my name is t0dd and I llub j00

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Rating: 2 (8 Votes) | Added 11/6/2001 1:52:06 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
4

"I'm not that kind of cute to be random ass." -Karen

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:52:13 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
5

"I'm too fat to get that!"
-Beams (talking about getting up to get the phone while eating)

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:52:21 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
6

Gryphon103: I have a big butt
Plocmstart: oh i'll have to look next time
Gryphon103: and thighs... from riding
Gryphon103: DON'T look at my ass!

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:52:31 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
7

Pettyfogger: you guys are TOTALLY doing sex
Pettyfogger: i'm going to tell your mommy

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Rating: 7 (1 Votes) | Added 11/6/2001 1:52:38 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
8

LEREUSCHER: duh...which is more important? Lauren is cute!!!!!!! (Lauren talking about herself)

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:52:47 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
9

[From a convo with Kerry...]
Gryphon103: what girl wouldn't go for the scrawnier guy? ;-)
Gryphon103: easier to push around..
Plocmstart: the one that would go for me i guess :-P
Gryphon103: which is no one, so...
Plocmstart: SO I AM DAMNED TO AN ETERNITY OF MASTURBATION

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Rating: 4.5 (2 Votes) | Added 11/6/2001 1:52:57 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
10

Pettyfogger: haha i like having my own apartment i can sit here in my underwear and nobody cares

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:53:04 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
11

Pettyfogger: improve your home and your sex life at the same time... add sex handles to your bed today!!

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:54:24 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
12

"God loves me, dammit!" - Lil Jenny

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:54:31 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
13

Tech_phil: sexual sensations have been known to go from the skin to the brain at over 150 MPH
the dodge viper can go well over 250 mph
thats much better

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:54:38 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
14

Oopsilon1: i'm talking to 3 boys at once! i'm so popular!

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Rating: 7.5 (2 Votes) | Added 11/6/2001 1:54:43 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
15

Oopsilon1: but i'm gonna get mad skills so i'll be the best programmer around!

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Rating: 6 (1 Votes) | Added 11/6/2001 1:54:50 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
16

kpxhunnie: what exactly do 21 year old guys want?
kpxhunnie: as presents
Plocmstart: sex

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:54:55 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
17

Pettyfogger: marriedsex is goodsex
Pettyfogger: beforeyermarriedsex is badsex

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Rating: 3.4117647058824 (34 Votes) | Added 11/6/2001 1:55:00 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
18

kpxhunnie: wanna do a quickie something? lol
kpxhunnie: sounds worse from what i meant
Plocmstart: a quickie"?!?!?!?!?!?

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:55:14 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
19

dangDana: if you can get me 2 donkeys and a box of batteries and a pack of grape gum I will mak eyou rich

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:55:27 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
20

Pettyfogger: after a long day of programming CPU I/O controllers and writing code to relocate firmware to RAM, i deserve some yummys

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:55:35 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
21

dangDana: Pinky and the brain want to rule the universe. Teenage girls want to be Miss Universe. Me? I merely want to compute the universe....and if there is already a turing machine that computes the universe I'm fucked

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:55:48 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
22

Gryphon103: rick's a pain....er, rather a payne, I guess (Kerry talking about Rick Payne)

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:56:04 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
23

Pettyfogger: that's why i eat macaronis to keep me healthy and strong so i not die
Plocmstart: or makes u into big noodle
Pettyfogger: well then i'll be da only noodle in da world with health insurance

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:56:11 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
24

Pettyfogger: wonder what xp stands for
Pettyfogger: xtra pron

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:56:16 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
25

Andrew Portner: "I'm tired of all this sex on the television; I keep falling off."

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Rating: 5 (2 Votes) | Added 11/6/2001 1:56:22 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
26

Josh: lets get mrtg
Jud: jarsh does this about every 4-6 months :P

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:56:28 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
27

Pettyfogger: gots my cream of mushroom soup but i gotta open can with screwdriver cuz don't have can opener and can't find pocket knife

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:56:35 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
28

Pettyfogger: oh well das why i say "ok God u take care of this ok?" and God say "ya ok i got u covered das cooest." or at least that's what he'd say if he talked like u and me over IM

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:56:54 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
29

Pettyfogger: dat wuz good hamburger.. u should try it on a bagel sometime

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:57:02 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
30

Plocmstart: ok carmey i gonna go out for a walk with jenny then go get ice cream
DevilLilly: byes
DevilLilly: have fun
DevilLilly: don't come back with children

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:57:11 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
31

Auto response from beribets: Goldfish: the snack that smiles back!...until you bite their heads off.

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:57:16 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
32

Plocmstart: you guys just have no faith in me!
Gryphon103: sorry
Gryphon103: you are just a putz
Plocmstart: LOL

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:57:22 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
33

Pettyfogger: lauren and i decided they can ruin the sex handles if they want b/c we like to roll around on the floor and ram up against stuff when we have sex so the sex handles are too restrictive anyway (note: Matt is joking)

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:57:31 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
34

Pettyfogger: ok um so i opened up MSN messenger and told it not to run when windows starts, but it still does. wtf
Plocmstart: it microsoft having sex with yer memory
Pettyfogger: ouch, memory rape
Pettyfogger: i paid good money for that memory and it's my bitch, not microsoft's

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:57:44 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
35

Gryphon103: I am 25 percent gay!! what the hell???
Gryphon103: i am so NOT gay!!

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:57:54 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
36

JillRebeka: you are a freak but i still love ya

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:57:59 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
37

Pettyfogger: ya ok just remember not to make any babies cuz u got church tomorrow and u not be able to go to chuch if u gotta take care of little newborn babies. das what i say cuz i'm smart.

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:58:05 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
38

Andrew Portner: Man eats own head with one line of code.
Andrew Portner: eat(head);

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:58:12 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
39

Plocmstart: no i just have an extra hole in my body right now
schmz13: fun
schmz13: if you'd just stop stabbing yourself you wouldn't have this problem you know
Plocmstart: i'm workin on it!

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Rating: 1 (1 Votes) | Added 11/6/2001 1:58:19 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
40

Plocmstart: CHANNEL 44 YAY!
Auto response from schmz13: I love channel 44...:-)
Plocmstart: the meatball channel!
Plocmstart: meatballs all day and all night!

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:58:24 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
41

Plocmstart: SLEEPTIME FOR ME YAY FOR BANANAS!!!!!!!!
schmz13: enjoy
schmz13: tell the bananas hi

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Rating: 0 (1 Votes) | Added 11/6/2001 1:58:30 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
42

LivBabyLiv: my pants have the scent of fried vegtables

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:58:34 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
43

all things are transient. we don't need alcohol. (todd)

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Rating: 8 (1 Votes) | Added 11/6/2001 1:58:41 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
44

Auto response from schmz13: Relationship Advice, $5 a session Limited Time Only!!
Plocmstart: there's this banana i really like... but well.... i just dunno how to let it know my feelings for it... should i just sorta sneak up on it and grab it or should i take it easy... talk to it one day... then move in on it nice and slow....?

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:58:47 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
45

Pettyfogger: yeah, well i'm a nutcase but i enjoy it

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:58:54 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
46

Plocmstart: i scare myself away sometimes too but then when i try running away from myself i just end up running in circles

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:58:59 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
47

JillRebeka: and so we were wondering (ok so it was mostly me wondering) what does a jock strap look like?

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:59:05 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
48

LivBabyLiv: hi
LivBabyLiv: !
LivBabyLiv: my kiwi threw up on me

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:59:11 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
49

schmz13: whoo hoo I'm going to spanish-ize your mp3 collection!
schmz13: everyone needs a little spanish-izing
schmz13: it's like exercising

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:59:17 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
50

Plocmstart: whatcha gonna do with my email?
kpxhunnie: sex0r it up

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:59:22 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
51

schmz13: I am proud to say that I have never put a tampon in water to watch it get big.

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:59:29 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
52

Plocmstart: i have shorts! beat me with a stick!

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Rating: 1 (1 Votes) | Added 11/6/2001 1:59:39 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
53

cappucino: sextris is a great game

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:59:43 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
54

Beams: "What happens when something is a function of itself?"
Matt: "You die."

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:59:50 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
55

"You're not allowed to remember all this stuff you know is true. ... We don't know about 1 yet. 1 is one of those crazy folk things; it's magic."
-- The Great Ogden

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 1:59:58 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
56

Plocmstart: so what does time depend on?
Andrew Portner: Monkeys.

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 2:00:05 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
57

Pettyfogger: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Plocmstart: playing with cheese
Pettyfogger: cool
Pettyfogger: cheese is fun!

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 2:00:16 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
58

redwine731: nothin'... i just wanted to pop a fat hamster on your computer screen, but i guess it won't work
redwine731: :-)
Pettyfogger: yes my firewall is there for something!!
redwine731: to block out poor fat hamsters?!?!?

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 2:00:24 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
59

redwine731: build me a puppy
redwine731: let me know when you're done

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 2:00:33 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
60

schmz13: wow
schmz13: you look good in green
schmz13: sexxxxy
schmz13: :-P

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 2:00:39 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
61

"With freedom comes nudity" - Zorak

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 2:00:44 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
62

Plocmstart: no i am normal yes i'm not

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 2:00:53 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
63

Plocmstart: hi kerry if yer still there
Qtuner: yes
Plocmstart: whatcha doin?
Qtuner: making babies

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 2:01:02 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
64

JillRebeka: :-) did you like take a class on bullshitting or something?
Plocmstart: no it comes with the major

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 2:01:10 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
65

JillRebeka: where do you even find these things?
Plocmstart: i have friends
Plocmstart: ;-)
JillRebeka: well your friends are perverts

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 2:01:17 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
66

Auto response from LivBabyLiv: excel is good for one thing...making my own 5-cycle semi-log paper

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 2:01:22 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
67

PLocmstart: what do those run on?
LivBabyLiv: butane... wouldn't that be fun? plus, no messy electricty
Plocmstart: yea just compressed flammable liquids

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 2:01:29 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
68

rsmacman: 815 is the class that teaches you how to bend spoons with your mind

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 2:01:35 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
69

Andrew Portner: Want to know what it's like to bend your entire nail back?
Andrew Portner: )#(@$)@#$)@*%^)@#$
Andrew Portner: I tried to open the XP box.

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 2:01:42 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
70

LivBabyLiv: what's scroll lock?
LivBabyLiv: i gotcha
Plocmstart: u know... after all these years i still have no idea

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 2:01:53 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
71

"Little kids don't need a Pentium 4 to make them happy, they just need some flashing lights!" -Matt talking about a commercial for a child's computer toy.

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 2:02:01 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
72

[13:11] xosh: about that patch?
[13:11] xosh: :P
[13:11] D00k: You have to recompile after you apply the patch.
[13:11] xosh: o
[13:11] xosh: i knew that

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 2:02:08 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
73

JillRebeka: oh please i would say yes to any job willing to pay me fifty a year, of course stripping is probably not included in those offers :-D

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 9:47:24 PM by Plocmstart

Quote #
74

KrinkovPhd: he implies radio shack carries that stuff, obviously i have no idea
Plocmstart: i've never seen them there but maybe they do i dunno
KrinkovPhd: they're in the 21 and over only back room

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/6/2001 10:12:26 PM by Plocmstart

Quote #
75

Plocmstart: u know it's about time to go to sleep when u go to the start menu and then u can't even remember why u went there

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/7/2001 1:04:08 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
76

"A spork is a fork in drag" - kathy

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/7/2001 11:42:14 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
77

"Garry I beat you 2 to 1, rock paper sissors does NOT count as a contest of intellect and strategy!!!!" - Karen

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/7/2001 11:42:59 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
78

Gryphon103: i need to be more careful when I say things to you on IM ;-)

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/7/2001 12:10:29 PM by Plocmstart

Quote #
79

Gryphon103: have you ever carved a pumpkin??
Plocmstart: yes
Plocmstart: it doesn't take 5 hours
Gryphon103: if I IMed anyone while making babies...well, that is worse than answering the phone or counting ceiling tiles....

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/7/2001 12:16:25 PM by Plocmstart

Quote #
80

Plocmstart: had a midterm today
DevilLilly: on?
Plocmstart: inverse kinematics, hydraulics and laplace transforms
DevilLilly: can u dumb that down for me?

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/7/2001 11:37:29 PM by Plocmstart

Quote #
81

Plocmstart: EAT LOTS OF BEANS YOU WILL MAKE MANY FRIENDS

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/8/2001 11:17:52 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
82

Plocmstart: ibiza is the one night stand capital of the world
Gryphon103: LOL!
Gryphon103: that is where rick wants to go

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/9/2001 5:16:19 PM by Plocmstart

Quote #
83

LivBabyLiv: ok, first of all, i very highly recommend anyone NOT put a cd right over a lightbulb for an length of time

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/9/2001 9:32:12 PM by Plocmstart

Quote #
84

Gryphon103: rick does not have an album
Gryphon103: but I think he is gay

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/9/2001 10:25:58 PM by Plocmstart

Quote #
85

rsmacman: i opened that virus just like you told us not to

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/9/2001 10:40:46 PM by Plocmstart

Quote #
86

s1gn0fT1mes: you are the greatest guy jim...uh huh
s1gn0fT1mes: and you you you are the best guy i know
s1gn0fT1mes: yeah, definitely
s1gn0fT1mes: and i just want you to know that ive never meant to be mean AT ALL
s1gn0fT1mes: promise.
s1gn0fT1mes: yeah.
s1gn0fT1mes: so, dont hurt me.

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/9/2001 11:40:51 PM by Plocmstart

Quote #
87

s1gn0fT1mes: from what amber tells me, youre a really, really smart cookie.
s1gn0fT1mes: they must have baked youright

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/10/2001 7:33:47 PM by Plocmstart

Quote #
88

Andrew Portner: I'm on the phone with a hot girl and you're not.
Andrew Portner: neener neener
Andrew Portner: And I'm spanking the monkey.

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/10/2001 7:52:58 PM by Plocmstart

Quote #
89

Andrew Portner: If I were an eskimo, I'd move to California and live in the grocery store freezer section and eat ice cream all day long.

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Rating: 8 (1 Votes) | Added 11/10/2001 8:17:00 PM by Plocmstart

Quote #
90

Plocmstart: that time has come
Plocmstart: the time at which nudity calls for a purpose
Plocmstart: and that purpose is cleanliness
s1gn0fT1mes: ha
s1gn0fT1mes: i thought you were about to streak

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/11/2001 12:05:57 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
91

Plocmstart: darn girls :-P
HornGal7278: why???
Plocmstart: just play with guys' minds
HornGal7278: cause we're all looking for sugar daddys to pay for our every whim;-)
Plocmstart: lol

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/11/2001 1:20:44 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
92

Andrew Portner: I WORE MY INVISIBLE PANTS TO WORK!

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/11/2001 5:23:23 PM by Plocmstart

Quote #
93

Auto response from KevinMU1: What has transpired is that Kevin has gone to dinner. What will transpire after dinner is still not certain.
Pettyfogger: what will transpire is that Matt will kill Kevin for talking about himself in the third person and using the word "transpire" to describe every event in his day.

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/11/2001 6:57:25 PM by Plocmstart

Quote #
94

mrcreamyp (5:23:27 PM): Were you aware that beer is actually a valuable commodity?
Andrew Portner (5:27:26 PM): how so?
mrcreamyp (5:29:32 PM): I just paid off my skitzofrenic friend to come hook up my entertainment system :-)

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/11/2001 8:37:21 PM by Plocmstart

Quote #
95

Plocmstart: makin some foods
Plocmstart: i think i'm gonna clean my room while they be cookin
s1gn0fT1mes: eww. yum
s1gn0fT1mes: what food?
s1gn0fT1mes: they?
s1gn0fT1mes: there are boyz..
s1gn0fT1mes: i like boyz

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Rating: 7 (1 Votes) | Added 11/12/2001 12:24:57 PM by Plocmstart

Quote #
96

Here's to alcohol... the anethesia that helps us endure everyday life.

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/12/2001 5:42:15 PM by Plocmstart

Quote #
97

"You're not only one person... you're Beams!" - Jennifer

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/12/2001 7:54:12 PM by Plocmstart

Quote #
98

rsmacman: god gave you a butt, use it

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/12/2001 11:26:45 PM by Plocmstart

Quote #
99

Andrew Portner: Sometimes I go to the park and pretend I'm a tree, and then when kids start to climb me I say "BOO!" and they fall down.

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Rating: Not Rated | Added 11/13/2001 1:36:34 AM by Plocmstart

Quote #
100

amberg159: always pickin like a chicken. hehe. i made a rhyme!

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Rating: 1 (1 Votes) | Added 11/13/2001 1:38:15 AM by Plocmstart

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